


May Pranks Again!

by Lady_Jayde_Une



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Baby Skye, F/M, May Pranks, Philinda - Freeform, Season 2, mama may, papa phil, phil hates mayo, post Hydra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Jayde_Une/pseuds/Lady_Jayde_Une
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whilst at The Playground, May takes the opportunity to prank Coulson like she used to in the Academy days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	May Pranks Again!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SassyCassie1401](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyCassie1401/gifts).



Melinda May approached Coulson’s office at the Playground. The team had been based at the Playground for a few weeks, collating information, creating strategies and finding allies. They hadn’t had time to breath, let alone relax. May’s concern for Coulson had grew since his appointment as S.H.I.E.L.D. Director, and she took her role as Commander seriously. She wanted to protect Coulson, to help ease his incredible burden, no matter what it would involve.

She knocked gently on Coulson’s office door, she could tell by the light escaping from the gap below the door that his light was on. 

May received no answer, she tried again and listened. Nothing.

She grabbed the door handle and opened the door slowly, just in case he was hard at work, she didn’t want to startle him. As she peaked her head around his door, she could see he was fast asleep in his chair, leaning back, head off to the side slightly, snoring softly.

May watched him for a moment, a small smile escaping her lips as she watched him fondly. Seconds later, her fond smile changed to a wicked smile, which hadn’t graced her features for years.

Checking the hallway behind her, she made sure no one was approaching and entered his office, closing the door quietly as she did so. May tiptoed over to his prone form, sitting obliviously in his chair; she picked up a black marker from a paper flipchart in the corner of the room, took the cap off and started to doodle on his face.

She knew she wouldn’t be his favourite person when he woke up, but this was too good an opportunity to pass up. She hadn’t doodled on his face for 20 years, but now it felt like yesterday, since their Academy days.

Luckily Coulson remained asleep through her work of art, ‘You were always a deep sleeper, Phil’ she thought to herself as she returned the marker and made a swift exit, smiling to herself.

~~~

May had reached Skye a few moments later; she could see the young Agent was on her laptop. She wasn’t working, as they hadn’t received much in the way of leads yet. 

Skye had changed much since May took her under her wing and became her S.O. She’d come on in leaps and bounds, yet May was careful to try and keep her from becoming a hardened S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, like her. She wanted Skye to be strong and disciplined, not an unfeeling killing machine. 

So far, her training was working. May observed Skye proudly and as she does she sees an alternate version of herself. She could too easily see that Skye would be May had she not gone through the horror of Bahrain and May would fight to keep it that way.

“Skye, I need you to do me a favour.”

Skye looked up to May, figuratively and literally and answered, “Sure, what do you need?”

~~~

“OH MY GOD! MAAAAAYY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE?!” Coulson screamed from his office, a few yards from the communal area where the team were taking a break and drinking tea, coffee and beer.

Coulson stormed out of his office, door slamming behind him as he stomped into the communal area.

Everyone’s attention immediately went to Coulson, some had snickered, some appeared shocked but May’s face was impassive. She’d practiced that skill as much as her tai chi. 

“I don’t know what your talking about, Coulson.” Inside her head she was laughing, on the outside she was poker faced. 

“Yes, you do, May! Look at my face!” Coulson stomped closer to May.

This was getting funnier by the second. Phil was just too cute right now, he looked angry but he wasn’t really. She’d saw his anger months ago, and this wasn’t it.

“I can’t wash it off, May! You used permanent marker, on my face!” He shouted as he pointed to his face.

The rest of the team appeared to feel a little awkward, apart from Skye, and made their excuses to leave them alone.

“Look D.C. We’ll find something to get it off!” Skye piped up as she worked furiously on her laptop.

Coulson took a breath in an attempt to calm himself, “Thank you, Skye.”

After Skye trawled the Internet in a matter of moments, she exclaimed, “Here we go!”

Coulson stopped sending ‘death-glares’ to May and leant over Skye to read the screen.

“Really? Mayonnaise? I got to put Mayo on my face for 2 hours?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, this is like, the third site that says so!”

Phil didn’t like this, he hated Mayo. He hated how it looked and smelt.

“I think we have some Mayo left. I’ll get it.” May said. ‘Oh this keeps getting better.’ May had told Skye what she’d done to prank Phil and she asked Skye to set up a few fake websites to say that the only way to remove marker was to apply Mayo and leave it on for a few hours. She was well aware of his distain of mayonnaise, where as she on the other hand, loved the stuff.

She grabbed the half full jar and a tablespoon. “This might be a little cold.” May said with a deadpan voice, though her eyes were starting to give the game away.

Phil stood bolt upright, trying to pretend that it wasn’t mayo that May was applying to his face. It was a cream, that’s it, a magic cream. Perhaps the one she uses to keep herself looking so youthful.

May winked at Skye as the younger Agent laughed silently to herself when Phil closed his eyes as he tried to hide his mayo revulsion.

As Skye regained her composure, May said, “Ok, you can open your eyes now.”

It was a shame really; May had done some of her best drawings on his face. A pair of thick rimmed square glasses, a goatee beard, pikachu circles on his cheeks, Vulcan style eyebrows and a heart on the tip of his nose.  
~~~

Nearly an hour later, some of the team re-entered the communal area where May, Skye and Coulson had been sitting and chatting about the pranks May would pull at the Academy, mostly at his expense.

“Now, don’t you dare start getting like this one, here!” Phil said to Skye as he pointed to May sitting beside him. 

Skye loved every moment of this. Sitting here, laughing and talking around a table must be what it felt like to have a family. She could forget about the chaos of the world outside those blast doors, if only for a few hours, and pretend that she was working with mom to prank her dad. She wished more than anything that it were true.

“Love your new beauty regime, mate!” Lance said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped the cap of with his teeth and sat down on the couch.

Coulson had loosened up slightly and took part in the banter he knew May had started. This was totally her style and he knew her more than anyone.

An hour later May stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder, “Come on, let’s get that crap off your face.”

Coulson stood and followed her lead. “Why are you coming with me?” Phil asked as they both walked to the bathroom.

“I know your not going to want to touch the mayo.” May replied as she snorted under her breath.

“Too right.”

They both got in to the bathroom and May locked the door behind her. She walked up to him from behind and rubbed her hands over his back and broad shoulders.

He turned to her as she smiled up at him.

“You’re very naughty Melinda. Do you know that.”

“But you love it.” She tiptoed up to him as she placed her hands on his chest. 

“Why did you have to choose Mayo, Melinda?” he asked in exasperation.

She licked from his jaw to the seam of his lips. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

They both removed the mayo from his face with soap and water and dried his face with a clean towel. The marker still clearly visible on his face. 

May created a concoction of creams and oils in the bathroom and was able to remove the marker from his face and he was grateful.

“Thanks May,” Coulson said, smiling down at her. “I can see what you did and why you did it.” He pulled May closer to him and stroked her face with his thumb. Phil caught glimpses of the ‘old’ May, the mischievous May who was his partner in crime at the Academy. “You really helped to boost the teams morale and I think it worked.”

“Anytime.” She smiled up at him as she brushed her finger against his lips; he kissed her finger softly then bent down slightly to kiss her plump lips.

Phil couldn’t get her close enough to him; he lifted her up as he continued to kiss her. May took the hint and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist.

“You’re a very naughty girl, May.” He growled in her ear as he pinned her to the wall and kissed his way down her neck.

“I know. I’m your naughty girl.” She whispered in his ear as she nipped his earlobe, she was aware of how the action drove him wild.

Suddenly there was a banging on the door. 

“Oh my god, guys! Please don’t have sex in the bathroom! Its just like hearing my parents going at it!” Skye bemoaned on the other side of the door.

Coulson eased May down so she could stand for herself, even though her knees had turned to jelly.

They straightened their clothes and opened the door to find Skye smirking at the two of them. Coulson and May having the decency to appear slightly embarrassed.

“Sorry, Skye.” Coulson said as he wrapped his arm around May and guided her out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. The two of them had decided to share a bedroom since May found Coulson sleep-writing on a wall with a flick-knife and thing had progressed quickly from there.

As they passed Skye, she could hear Coulson whisper to May, “I’m going to pay you back May, very slowly.”

“Stop it, you guys! I can still hear you!!” Skye ran to the others covering her ears.

 

~End~

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my BFF Cassie, cus she’s a star and helped make the 126+ days of having no new Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. fly by!


End file.
